Over the last few months God has allowed us to be on a crazy journey as we have sought His will for our lives. I always use to think that God’s will was supposed to be revealed in some magnificent way so that we could be sure that we were in the center of it. Then I came to realize that it was not the case but practically I still lived that way. As we would come to new junctures in life I kept waiting for God to speak but always in the end He never spoke that clearly.
The pattern that I have seen in my life has been a continuous battle to remain patient as I wait for God’s will to unfold. When I am in those waiting stages I find that anything sounds like it would be a lot of fun and as long as God is included I begin to think that it might be His will for me. Therefore I begin to pursue different things with passion that overwhelms me and possesses me until I find the answer. In those times when things don’t work out I am reminded that those pursuits became my idol. Once they began to possess me I should have realized that it probably wasn’t what God wanted, but rather what I wanted as I sought for significance and meaning. After those times of waiting where I allowed myself to be possessed, God then steps in and moves us to what he had originally planed. Then when I look back with 20/20 vision I see how God’s sovereign hand has been involved and that because I could not be patient I missed out on enjoying Him and His peace.
Recently we hit a new intersection in life and had some major decisions to make but by God’s grace I handled it much differently. God calls us to be faithful and because of that I knew that I needed to proceed with caution. I also knew that I longed to be used by God and didn’t want to wait any longer to pour my heart and life into people. Instead of pursuing a position I simply realized that the best thing to do was to be faithful where God had placed us because I knew there was much to be done.
As a result we have been led to a place where we have been desperate for God to provide. We have been in a place that does not give us luxury or opportunity for advancement but rather it has been a place where I am continually humbled. The place my family and I found is one that is seeking first the kingdom of God in our most imperfect ways. I find myself daily looking at the promises of God and asking do I really believe this. At least a few times a week I find that I want to jump ship and pursue something that has more earthly benefits. In those times God gently rebukes me and pulls me closer to Him.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification” (1 Thess. 4:3). This summer as we have sought the kingdom, God has been sanctifying us. In times when I felt like I needed encouragement from God, I found Him revealing in greater ways the depth of my sin and how it repels people from Him. In those times by revealing my sin, He also revealed how amazing His grace is and that apart from it I am hopeless. In this process He has been sanctifying me. I pray that the lessons that God has been teaching me this summer will stay deeply planted within my heart.
God has also taught me much about trusting His promises. He has taught me that often times the hardest thing about trusting God’s promises is dying to my own desires. Jesus taught that, the first must become last in His kingdom and so when He teaches us those lessons it is painful because we have to die to our desires. The thing is that often times our wants can sound very godly, so when we are asked to die to them it seems wrong. I know I have found myself saying to God, “I want this so I can serve you more or so I can give more to you.” The truth is in those things there is a hint of selfishness that is repulsive to God and also makes it so difficult to die to those things. The great thing is that God keeps showing me that the results from trusting His promises are so much greater than what my desires would have produced.
God’s provision has been amazing as we have surrendered to Him and sought to do His will by seeking first the kingdom of God. Yes it has been hard and I have often found myself in a panic and moping around waiting for God to respond. Then He rebukes me through the Scriptures, my amazing wife, a life situation of a friend or a close friend and I come back to reality that my purpose in life is to know Jesus and to lead others to know and experience Him. That is my mission. I am convinced more than ever that I do not need a position or title to ever fulfill the mission that God has clearly called me to.
May I encourage you be faithful to what God calls us to in the scriptures and He will reveal His will to you only when it is necessary. Pray over the scriptures for what God is calling you to do as His disciple and start doing it. Don’t wait, do it now. When you do this it will not be easy and at times it will be scary but you will come alive and experience life more fully than ever.